Alden Presents: Oh, look…there goes my sanity

Alden '17

Alden ’17

Below, find a list of reasons of why I feel like my life is falling apart, despite the fact that second-semester senior year is generally considered “easier”:

Sometimes, instead of doing my homework in a responsible and efficient manner, I will watch 1,000 degree knife videos (which are not exciting because the objects just catch on fire) or TED Talks on how to be less stressed for two hours and just think “I hate myself” over and over again. I know I should stop, but I also don’t want to do my work.

I keep leaving my lunchbox in the same place in Dr. Millar’s room after class. He’s started to comment on my forgetfulness.

Sometimes a “short nap” when I get home becomes three to five hours, and I wake up at 11:30 p.m., only to eat dinner and then go back to bed. Sometimes, a “short break” becomes the perfect time to watch movies with an over two-hour runtime.

My room is a mess, and every time I try to clean it, I give up midway through because I’m “taking a break” and then just leave a pile of clothes and books on the floor.

I have so many to-do lists I can’t find the right one. Finding the right to-do list is on my to-do list.

The first thing I look forward to when I wake up is going back to sleep that night.

I don’t floss every day, and I keep lying to my dentist about it, and I know I should be flossing, but I just can’t find the will to commit to it.

I like to think that I’m at my most productive between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. and that somehow the quality of my work will not suffer because of the late hour.

I sometimes spend upwards of 12 dollars on a smoothie from Kreation.

Sometimes I am too lazy to wait for bread to toast, so I’ll just eat it untoasted.

I can’t even formulate prose, case in point being the fact that my column is essentially a transitionless list.

Here’s what I realize about second semester senior year: it is the ultimate senior prank. Seniors tell you it’s something to look forward to because it’s easier, and you have more freedom, but the only thing that changes is that you don’t care nearly as much.

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