Meet the 2012 GOP Presidential Candidates!

 RON  PAUL

Qualifications:

Congressman from Texas, 1996-Present.

How Republican is He?

Libertarian (interested in very limited government).

Did He Really Say That?!

“Given the inefficiencies of what DC laughingly calls the criminal justice system, I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal.”

Interesting Tidbit:

Paul’s extreme foreign policy views include no foreign intervention, and an end to war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Scares Liberals Because:

He’s been under heavy scrutiny since the 1980’s when he edited and published newsletters full of racist comments such as, “Racial violence will fill our cities [because] mostly black welfare recipients will feel justified in stealing from mostly white haves.” Some also worry about his desire to decriminalize co­caine, heroin and prostitution under federal law.

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

He looks like he makes a mean barbecue. What’s more American than barbe­cue? And he has been consistent with his views.

NEWT GINGRICH

Qualifications:

Former Speaker of the House, 1995-1999.

How Republican is He?

Conservative.

Did He Really Say That?!

“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.” (discussing his first ex-wife)

Interesting Tidbit:

He was the speaker of a primarily Republican House of Representatives under Democratic President Clinton. The two openly disagreed on almost everything, until the feud came to a head in 1995 with a 21-day govern­ment shutdown as a result of their failure to balance the budget.

Scares Liberals Because:

He has declared that he is an intellectual first and a leader second, argu­ing that presidents don’t actually need to posses strong leadership skills. He is an outspoken critic of the health care reform bill, calling it “social­ist,” and has likened building the Islamic culture center at Ground Zero to “putting a Nazi sign next to the Holocaust museum.”

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

His wife Callista looks like a First Lady Barbie doll.

RICK PERRY

Qualifications:

Governor of Texas, 2000-Present.

How Republican is He?

Rigidly Conservative, Tea Party Champion.

Did He Really Say That?!

“Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.”(referring to a city that is across the border from Texas in Mexico)

Interesting Tidbit:

Perry’s hunting ranch in Western Texas is still named “Niggerhead.”

Scares Liberals Because:

He wrote a book titled “Fed Up!” in which he details his contempt for the American federal government. Yes, the very government he’s trying to get elected to preside over right now. Perry has also proposed measures to al­low prayer in public schools.”

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

He’s more moderate than some of his opponents on immigration and even supports a bill that would allow some children of undocumented immigrants to get free tuition at state-level universities.

JON HUNTSMAN

Qualifications:

Former Ambassador to China, 2009-2011, and Governor of Utah, 2005-2009.

How Republican is He?

Moderate (especially on issues of gay rights and the environment).

Did He Really Say That?!

They pick corn in Iowa, they actually pick presidents here in New Hampshire.”

Interesting Tidbit:

Huntsman is considered by many Democrats to be a good choice, many of whom cite his liberal immigration policy and opposition to an ammendment that would make same sex marrige illegal as evidence of his moderateness.

Scares Liberals Because:

He has been inconsistent on issues such as global warming.

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

He’s a pretty moderate conservative, and his daughters have launched a hilarious Twitter feed @jon2012girls.

RICK SANTORUM

Qualifications:

Former Pennsylvania Senator, 1995-2007.

How Republican is he?

Extremely Conservative.

Did He Really Say That?!

“The American Left hates Christendom. They hate Western civilization.”

Interesting Tidbit:

Santorum’s extreme right-wing views, including that global warming is “beautifully concocted scheme” and that to solve our our energy crisis we should “drill everywhere,” were once thought to possibly alienate too many voters to get him the nomination, but the Jan. 3 Iowa caucus results had him come in second, just six votes behind Mitt Romney, a difference of less than .1%.

Scares Liberals Because:

His views on homosexuality caused a major scandal back in 2003, and they show no sign of changing. Santorum believes that consenting homosexual adults do not have the right to privacy and so do not have the right to perform sexual acts. Santorum has related homosexual sex to child molestation, bestiality and incest.

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

At least his views have been consistently extreme?

MITT ROMNEY

Qualifications:

Former Governor of Massachusetts, 2003-2007.

How Republican is He?

Fairly moderate on some days, ultra-conservative on others.

Did He Really Say That?!

“I should tell my story. I’m also unemployed.” (giving a speech to unemployed people in Flori­da. Romney’s net worth is over $200 million).

Interesting Tidbit:

Some people fear that Romney will be unable to get the nomination as a result of his Mormonism. With so many devout Christians in the Republican Party, Romney’s religion has proven to be a point of tension.

Scares Liberals Because:

In the past decade he has changed his stance on health care, climate change, gun control,
immigration, the 2009 stimulus, capital-gains taxes, stem-cell research, gay rights and abortion. For example, Romney changed from pro-choice to pro-life to appeal to more conservative Republicans in the 2012 election. Now strictly anti-abortion, Romney even supports some measures that would serve to cut funding for Planned Parenthood, a non-profit that he used to support.

But We’d Consider Voting For Him Because:

Romney is one of only two candidates who has presented a thought-out plan with regard to the economy, and he designed a health care plan for Massachusetts that heavily influenced the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare).